The other day I saw this video clip of children ranging from 3 to 12 years of age ‘daggering’ (a very filthy dancing style originating from Jamaica). They were gyrating against each other, humping each other and “twerking”. I mean 4 year old boys humping 17 year old or adult girls! I was utterly and completely mortified. This video was clearly disturbing to a number of people since someone decided to take a video and share it with everyone on social media. The things these children were doing didn’t fall far from what would be called ‘soft’ pornography. One had to look twice to see if they were seeing right. I was like… are these really children or has this clip been somehow edited?



When watching this I was in the company of a relatively young male, somewhere in his early 30s. As we watched, unable to take our eyes off the screen, and with mouths agape, he said, and I quote

These children’s parents are teaching their daughters how to become whores! This is very distressing”. As a young parent of a 4 year old, he was visibly troubled by this as should be expected.

However, what got my attention was this….just to show how different we are as humans, and as males and females, this father’s concern was for the girls in the video, and not the boys. How come he did not feel anything for the boys? This to me, was totally absurd!

In an effort to understand better and not judge him, I asked

What about the boys?”.

After about 30 seconds of silence, and I could tell he was deep in thought, he shook his head and said

Ai, there is no issue there!”

I remember thinking “ WHAAAAATTTT!??”. How can he say there is no issue there. I imagined my 3 year old “ bumping and grinding” a 12 year old girl as other toddlers cheered on! Complete madness!

Does that mean as far as this father was concerned it is alright for boys to be introduced to vulgar adult behavior at a tender age and not for girls? Are boys immune to negative influence really? Are boys supermen who can ignore filthy exposure and somehow miraculously grow up with the right morals and respect for women and girls? Let me remind you, this father was the father to a 4 year old son. I couldn’t help but wonder what values he was going to instill in his child if to him boys can pretty much engage in sexual activity from a tender age.

Is it acceptable because the child is a boy? What if the boy was a little bit older by say 10 years and is 14. Would this then make it all better or make no difference?

As a parent, a mother and a responsible member of our society, I believe it is in order to deem this kind of behavior as a failure in upbringing, and a failure in the values we have imparted in our children. If things continue like this, we will have several generations of dysfunctional youth and adults. We must, as a community, break the silence on these matters and speak up!

I believe it is our duty to teach young girls to value themselves from a very tender age. We should teach our boys to love, and respect themselves. Then and only then can they learn to ‘love’, cherish, and respect women and girls. Children learn from their environment and are easily influenced by adults and others around them. This presents an excellent opportunity to bring up our children right.

We then as adults and role models, should teach our children by example. Let them see us engage each other in a respectful manner, free of violence and immoral sexual inclinations. Let us allow our children to be children and not introduce adult content into their innocent brains before the time for that arrives. We should avoid exposing our children to negative environments, to people who have no respect for women or vise versa. Our children need to be taught to observe and maintain high moral values for their own sakes. We must strive to protect our children from music and movies that these days bombard them with sexually oriented messages. I have met countless pre-teens who engage in sexual activity. I can tell you for sure that teenage pregnancy is real.

Why is it wrong to expose them to sexual activity at a young age?

Well one would think this is obvious , because they are children!!! Duh! It is also illegal in Kenya to expose children to sexual activity, and we thank God for that.

A study in the US showed that

  • the average teenager in the United States will view nearly 14,000 sexual references in the media per year.
  • 70% of all TV programs contain sexual content, with 34% depicting or implying sexual behavior.
  • 40% of music lyrics contain sexual content.The number of sexual scenes on TV has nearly doubled since 1998.

Unfortunately, the mass media consistently fail to realistically depict the possible risks associated with sexual activity. Of the 14,000 sexual references in media that teens will be exposed to each year, only 165 will deal with birth control, abstinence or risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Media has become the leading sex educator in our society.

So the next time you come across children behaving badly or adults encouraging it, please speak up and break the silence, for all our sakes!

You can get more valuable information on this topic here.